Reflection 1: Question
So the question presented in your prompt was to write about was the “words I’d live by are…” I had to think long, but not too hard about the words I would like to live by. I thought to myself about how saying always have a beautiful fluidity about them. As if they were designed to entice the mind to ponder about the meaning behind the simplicity. To my understanding the quote I would live by is; everything happens for a reason. I remember saying that quite often to family members when I was in high school and my mother would say that to me when I was in middle school. The first time my mother said that to me was when I was removed from my private Catholic School in the third grade and placed promptly in a nearby public elementary school for proper teaching. My mother looked at me on my first day when dropping me off at the flag pole by the entrance, she said “Kailyn I know you are scared about your first day in a new school but just remember everything happens for a reason.” Then from that moment on I believed in those words. On my first day I met two on my closest friends that turns out we graduated together from high school and still keep in touch once in a while. However those are the happier times when the saying turns out for the better. At points in my life I had to say it to cheer me you when the silver lining in the gloomy cloud seemed to distance. When I was in middle school, my mother’s father left us to go to a happier place and I didn’t find out until my parents planned a sudden trip to Minnesota without my sister or myself in the middle of April. Later I had found out that my father and mother didn’t want us to know so for one reason we wouldn’t miss school, but the other reason we wouldn’t have to deal with the saddest that came with knowing we no longer could play games of Cribbage, fish in the pond across from the house, or eat the little pink wafer cookies and drink milk. I believed my grandfather’s passing was a blessing in the fact that there was no pain or suffering. He departed in his sleep for a reason. The rest of my family and I will never know the reason as to his death however he lived a wonderful life and lived to be ninety-three years old. I remember his age because both mine and my grandfather’s birthdays were in October and he was eighty years old than me. Anyways that was the more depressing side the motto; however finding the comfort in the words of the wise is what truly brought me to live my life and going through endless mistakes and timeless trying new things because there’s no end the word of possibilities when you open your eyes. The world is full of what-if and why did this have to happen to me. Well I believe the universe wanted it to be that way for you. It happened for a reason. I am in a sense a success story to this motto is terms of if I didn’t get held back a grade and continued struggling through schooling just to make it were I want to end up, I might not have attended Cal State Fullerton. By making a decision to better understand my education, become a freshman at Cal State Fullerton happened for a reason. Have no regret for the life you are living; everything happens for a reason.
Now the first reflection I did at the beginning of the semester need enlighten brought upon it from a wiser self since what I wrote about happens to take place all basically in past memories. However given the chance I would like to revisit my “words I would live by” and make some adjustments to my point of view NOW. Instead of focusing about the past which continued to the present rather shed light to more relevant event to my current status as of today. I rather discuss my current days of struggle and stress in the college life and go back to the beginning first days on classes here at California State University Fullerton.
One of the few first things my parents told me before going to college stays in my mind as “don’t do anything you will end up regretting later.” These words meant a lot more to me knowing now that I wish I could change somethings that obtained as a wrong doing in the past. I wish in the beginning of college I never missed a class. I think this because I fell into a chain of events where missing one class seemed not as huge a deal to me, but then you miss another class and another one; soon I began to fall behind in course work and missing assignments. I realized now that attendance possesses importance for class. When you are present for class you tend to not forget when due dates arrive and what takes place in the upcoming classes.
Another thing people said to me before which retained in my brain, happens as “never give up, even when times are rough.” I thought about that when it came time to finals week. That week I would like to rather call hell week because you honestly do not get any sleep and you stress out too much about making the grade and not receiving an F on your college transcript. It appeared as tough for me to make that transition from never really needing to study for quizzes and exams in high school, to needing to actually read and put more effort into my classwork than before.
Lastly my most valued saying claims “I’m only brave when I have to be. Being brave doesn’t mean you go looking for trouble.” This quote takes scene from my boyfriend’s favorite Disney movie, The Lion King. Mufasa said this to his son, Simba, while looking over the horizon into the vast lands of Africa. These words are not exactly feminine really for me to understand exceptionally but more masculine on the side of physicality, however I can “be brave” in other ways that physical. When I strived to head to college staying brave enough to tell my parents that I would stand just fine on my own for a while and learn how I cannot bear things always given to me. I knew college could not present itself to me. When I got my acceptance letter because I worked hard to earn that letter through my success in high school. I did underestimate the support my parents really kept for me though because my father currently pays for my college education himself and to have a parent able to do that is a blessing. I am brave enough to be able to survive college and learn from the many mistakes I made on my own. I appeared able to understand through this reflection that I exclude benefits received in my college years for granted and need to truly start appreciating the real gift I recently discovered, many people do not go to college not because they considerably come across as not bright enough but simply because they do not acquired the means to, now cherish that as food for thought.